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Up fix.

I took advantage of life, now I cant think twice
thinking once, was just to nice
I bite my tongue, pain I feel
feels so good it must be real
see the time, hit the clock
take a piss, then hit the doc
news from the doc, sounds so bad
but its the best news that i ever had
but this isnt me, who am I
why sit in place, watch my brother die
i have no tears so I cannot cry
only a few days left till I say bye
i don’t know why, i don’t know why
for ones fate is always too late to realize

hrmm, I been listening to Dizze Rascal too much. I had to write some of my blog in a garage rap, lol. That was fun and it actually makes sense too.

I should move to UK and get into the garage scene and pip-pop every other kid out.

FIX UP!

U.S.A = DA SUCK

I can’t believe it. A bunch of fucking cubans beat the U.S.A Dream team. I know U.S has a bunch of rookies but that doesn’t matter! Oh, oh, JPN made new record in swimming. The U.S.A guy said in an interview that it’s just practice and that he doesn’t really care for him. Only a American could say this and it not be taken rudely. Mens volleyball is so uncool… BISH

The Best!

Working out is the best. For all you fat people, start doing it now. I’m really starting to see results and I’m getting MA ABS~

Race/Style: Choose your pick.

My experiences vary. I don’t know if I’m not accepted by different people or seen as to those people as one of their people but it amazes me. Before I write this, I’m going to be sure not to use names or anything so I will try my best. A good amount of XXXXX’s friends are rockers/punkers. Don’t know what they call themselves. I guess for the love of the music they got into all the chains, and black, and tiled belts and stuff. If thats what their into, its no problem at all. From what I know, everyone goes through this stage. Shiet, even I went through this stage but I didn’t take it far enough to wear chains and wear like extra big pants that scrape the ground as they walk.
Don’t get me wrong! All rockers/punkers don’t dress like this. I’m using this as a mere example. The question I thought about when thinking about this was on how different my life would be if I were a single race. Not being mixed with black and white (German). I would be looked at totally different in certain situations. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.
In the past, I was put in some sticky situations. Let me give you a few examples on how my life would be somewhat different. As a kid, I was told I was cute all the time. When we used to pick up my brother from high school, the girlies used to stop and tell my Father I was cute. This might have not been the same if I were have been one race. I might have been looked at a regular white or black kid. This is one of the unmeaningful things that would have changed. As to my hair; I have a very unique hair style. Its ultra curly at the roots but since I let it grow out, the ends began to go straight. Also the color is brown, red, auburn, blonde. I would surely not have this hair texture/color if I wasnt for my Mother’s wonderful side of the family.
There were certain situations where respect would be given and taken. At a time, living where we lived at the time, we would have been giving no respect. People in the “hood” tend to respect more of their race. Being that white kid that chills with the group of black kids most of the time means your their scape-goat. If you were just to be another black kid, you would be just like them; no differences. This is where it gets wild, due to being mixed, I’m sometimes not accepted by certain groups of people. Back in the “hood” I was always looked at to be the scape-goat. Never excepted by my fellow “niggaz” to be real since I was half German, I did things different, thought of things differently. I don’t think this would matter about the race but more about on how you have been raised. They didnt look at it like that. Since it was in my blood, I was scarred by my own people. Wild isn’t it?
This is all the same when around my other friends of a different race. I know some of my friends, which I will not say, see me for the person I am. Not caring for the color of my skin or race. Theses are my real friends and I’m very thankful for supporting me until the day I die. Trying my hardest not to label people after the color of their skin but just so you get the idea, I will for this post; I’m sorry. When around my “white friends” its somewhat different. Well, even around people I do not know. In the eyes of some “white people” I’m looked at that black kid with the group of white kids. Usually that happens because that group actually excepts him/her for what he/she is. No dumb questions and drama?
Though I have brothers, I see the big difference between all of us. I tend to be in the middle of it all; being into many different things. When it comes to my brothers, one is black, one is white? I always tend to be told this by one of my friends. My older brothers are both very different and into certain things. I’m the youngest, my mid brother is more hip-hopish as to my oldest brother, being more into trance and stuff. To other people, my brothers are usually picked out the crowd. They went through the same thing I’m going through but chose a side maybe? I started to think that as I began to write this entry. It is a worthy question to ask them.
This shows that it isn’t just me. I’m somewhat of a shy person. Not an anti-social person but I surely don’t have the “skill” to spark up a conversation all the time. I came to the point that saying “Fuck what people think” was the thing I had to do in my high school days. Though I have a few friends, they’re mostly from school or from back in the day. I don’t tend to find many friends on the “streets” (like shopping, clubbing, raving). I have many friends that I knew for a while, since I was 12 and we’re still great friends.
I tend to think its me but the way I’m looked at sometimes isn’t always correct or well mannered. Sometimes rude things happen but doesn’t that happen to all of us? 95% of life is made out of rudeness. What can you expect?

Partay: poof!

Well today was a very fun day. I’ll start of with what was planned today and then what my brain thought of through the day.
Today was the official day for the party of Chris’s birthday. It started out very broken up but they did stock up on the goodness. They had like a table full of food. Chris freaking invited 58 people and like 15 showed. This counting people who came to just like eat and leave. This ties in with what I’ll be talking about in a few. Ummm, “AJ” came and then this girl came (sorry for not remembering names; not a best attribute). We started watching Matrix Revolutions as I slayed people in Counter-Strike. The girl that came like mins after AJ seemed pretty encourage to play a round. So after like 15mins, I invited her to my PC to play some good ol’ Counter-Strike. A hour passes and more people show up. Like 5 people and a little bay-bay kid. They left like 20mins after their arrival. Busy people I guess! We ate hamburgers and chips as planned for the 5 people attending the party. The hamburgers were the best. PROPS TO Chris’s FATHER! After that, two more girls came. Anyway, after that, the crew came that I mostly know. Umm, forgot her name, his name, her name, Josh, forgot his name. Soon after that came Ryan! My new friend! THEN POP! Like a gang of girls came. Ones I met before all at Denny’s. We didn’t talk much or at all. Everyone ate and chilled as I sat on the couch blinded due to not having my contacts in. Chris thought I was tired but it just sucks that much when you cannot see from far for shit. The gang of girls left, and then slowly, everyone started breaking away. Oh yeah, John attended the party too. I know him from Hallandale; he was one of the few under-classmen I talked to in high school. Anyhow, the group that I somewhat new took a trip to, “Cold Stones?” A ice-cream place I heard. Never heard of this place before ever in my life. Would of been smart to ask Chris, “Hey, dood, its your birthday party. I would think you have ice cream.” But they didn’t at all. Not a thought of that ran through their heads; I saw it! Anyway, they soon left claiming they were all going home but word on the street is that was bullshit. Chris really got mad and started beating the shit out of his door. Never saw Chris get this angry so I replied, “Dood, its ok. Doesn’t matter now. Faster you forget about it, the better.” I find it very rude if they did do that. Its like rude to the second power and the penalty is a shot in the face. So now, John is playing Counter-Strike (upcoming addict). I borrowed Chris’s computer to write my entry as he played on his rawr guitar. I’ll prolly start on my next entry now while its fresh. The title? I don’t know yet.

Desktop of the FOOTURE

Well, its pretty late. Thought I would make my designing area pretty so when I have mucho designing to do, I can do it with style! Had to go back to my Mac days like in high school, hehe. The background is pretty nice; thats Ayumi Hamasaki. Love her music and just ummm, “found” a pak of her wallpapers laying around in my room. Pretty big too; 185mbs. Nice selection and some are pretty cool. I thought this one fit the desktop perfectly so thats what I chose! Tight isnt it?

Shut up!

DA LAN PARTAYYYYYY BOYYYYY

Guess what! Its Chris’s birthday and I was one of the mighty ones to be selected for the pre-party! It turned out to be a lan party, hrmm, just the two of us. Great fun though, its pretty sweet. We took these pictures earlier today, quality sucks but so does your face so ha! Wes has made me an evil man.