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Race/Style: Choose your pick.

My experiences vary. I don’t know if I’m not accepted by different people or seen as to those people as one of their people but it amazes me. Before I write this, I’m going to be sure not to use names or anything so I will try my best. A good amount of XXXXX’s friends are rockers/punkers. Don’t know what they call themselves. I guess for the love of the music they got into all the chains, and black, and tiled belts and stuff. If thats what their into, its no problem at all. From what I know, everyone goes through this stage. Shiet, even I went through this stage but I didn’t take it far enough to wear chains and wear like extra big pants that scrape the ground as they walk.
Don’t get me wrong! All rockers/punkers don’t dress like this. I’m using this as a mere example. The question I thought about when thinking about this was on how different my life would be if I were a single race. Not being mixed with black and white (German). I would be looked at totally different in certain situations. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.
In the past, I was put in some sticky situations. Let me give you a few examples on how my life would be somewhat different. As a kid, I was told I was cute all the time. When we used to pick up my brother from high school, the girlies used to stop and tell my Father I was cute. This might have not been the same if I were have been one race. I might have been looked at a regular white or black kid. This is one of the unmeaningful things that would have changed. As to my hair; I have a very unique hair style. Its ultra curly at the roots but since I let it grow out, the ends began to go straight. Also the color is brown, red, auburn, blonde. I would surely not have this hair texture/color if I wasnt for my Mother’s wonderful side of the family.
There were certain situations where respect would be given and taken. At a time, living where we lived at the time, we would have been giving no respect. People in the “hood” tend to respect more of their race. Being that white kid that chills with the group of black kids most of the time means your their scape-goat. If you were just to be another black kid, you would be just like them; no differences. This is where it gets wild, due to being mixed, I’m sometimes not accepted by certain groups of people. Back in the “hood” I was always looked at to be the scape-goat. Never excepted by my fellow “niggaz” to be real since I was half German, I did things different, thought of things differently. I don’t think this would matter about the race but more about on how you have been raised. They didnt look at it like that. Since it was in my blood, I was scarred by my own people. Wild isn’t it?
This is all the same when around my other friends of a different race. I know some of my friends, which I will not say, see me for the person I am. Not caring for the color of my skin or race. Theses are my real friends and I’m very thankful for supporting me until the day I die. Trying my hardest not to label people after the color of their skin but just so you get the idea, I will for this post; I’m sorry. When around my “white friends” its somewhat different. Well, even around people I do not know. In the eyes of some “white people” I’m looked at that black kid with the group of white kids. Usually that happens because that group actually excepts him/her for what he/she is. No dumb questions and drama?
Though I have brothers, I see the big difference between all of us. I tend to be in the middle of it all; being into many different things. When it comes to my brothers, one is black, one is white? I always tend to be told this by one of my friends. My older brothers are both very different and into certain things. I’m the youngest, my mid brother is more hip-hopish as to my oldest brother, being more into trance and stuff. To other people, my brothers are usually picked out the crowd. They went through the same thing I’m going through but chose a side maybe? I started to think that as I began to write this entry. It is a worthy question to ask them.
This shows that it isn’t just me. I’m somewhat of a shy person. Not an anti-social person but I surely don’t have the “skill” to spark up a conversation all the time. I came to the point that saying “Fuck what people think” was the thing I had to do in my high school days. Though I have a few friends, they’re mostly from school or from back in the day. I don’t tend to find many friends on the “streets” (like shopping, clubbing, raving). I have many friends that I knew for a while, since I was 12 and we’re still great friends.
I tend to think its me but the way I’m looked at sometimes isn’t always correct or well mannered. Sometimes rude things happen but doesn’t that happen to all of us? 95% of life is made out of rudeness. What can you expect?