Solar night

January 26, 2006 on 1:56 am | In Life | No Comments

I would probably have to label this week: My week of terror! I caught a simple cold which blew up in to a runny nose, sore throat, and then me losing my voice. It’s very odd when your good at communicating but since you have no voice, you cannot speak/communicate verbally. Tomorrow will be my first day with no voice and I ponder about how it will turn out. Even as being a salesman, having a horrible voice makes things so much harder. Some customers cannot understand you making you have to repeat a lot of things. Other than that, you are hurting your throat even more by talking. Pain, pain, pain. I missed last class so I have no choice but to go tomorrow. I must and if I do not, I will be extremely disappointed in myself. I was online today surfing yahoo.jp auctions and checking email when I got a messege from an old time friend. We got to talking about our days and she said one the best things I have heard all week. She gave me a compliment that many of my friends tend to give me but rarely do verbally. “You make me laugh, you know?” I went on to ask how.. “The things you say I guess. Your always positive; it’s very comforting.” She made my night. Not just for the comments but for having the courage to tell me these feelings. We are close to the point of being friends but we rarely hang-out and what not. Usually an on-off situation since we both having conflicting schedules and lifestyles. I guess it is one of the many goals I want to accomplish in life. To be in the hearts of many so I don’t go unknown. To be the holder of the fist burning in the bright yellow sun, full of spirit and courage, to go on to the very end. I guess one little thing can brighten your whole day even if it’s just a little cold keeping you down.

Question is:

January 15, 2006 on 9:09 pm | In School, Life | No Comments

How can you gently tell someone that you are depressed without them asking you what you’re depressed about? I don’t find myself in this situation often but when I come in contact with certain things or people, it tends to take a few laps around in my brain. It isn’t feelings of despair or sorrow but just a feeling of being lost. Not as to finding out who as am to myself but who I am to other people. My friends, my family; I love them all dearly. I want to be there for everyone but since I viewed as the cheery, loving person, I am always passed over on the “things to be told” list. I care for people in general dearly, some would say I am happy 99.9% each and every day. This is only due to me being able to hear people out without opening my trap with an ignorant comment or disrespectful action. This is why I chose the position of being a nurse. I want to be there for people, to support them and let them know that someone actually cares. That through this crummy world, there are still a few people that walk around with a heart full of joy with cheerfullness pumping through their veins. I do not regret doing anything in my life, everyone is indeed special to me. Even everyday people I meet at work that have questions or someone I actually get to know and receive their number. Even someone becoming angered at me will make me second guess my actions and try to fix them. I want to be on good terms with everyone, whether I knew you in the past or even the future. I want you to be able to say my name or think of me when I am not around you and say he was helpful or that his spirit was incredible! I once wanted to be that seed that stayed in its shell, never wanting to see the light due to no experience with the outside world. In due time, I had no choice but to break out the gates and dig in the world around me. I thank everyone that has and will help me on this incredible journey called life. Thank you.

Super Smash School

January 10, 2006 on 12:00 pm | In School, Blog | No Comments

I am currently connected to my college’s wireless network. The strength of the signal is low even though I thought it would be quite high. I guess I have another thing to doubt about this wonderful school.

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